Hines v Cole*

*Monday, 4 October 2004

Witness the progression of Marcia’s opinion of Chanel:

SEMI-FINAL (Portishead, “Glory Box”)
“You chose an obscure song but sang it beautifully.”
Translation: “Who are Portishead? My daughter Deni doesn’t sing Portishead."
Cattiness Factor: 1/5 Nothing overt here. Clearly, no behind-the-scenes fighting just yet.

FINALS WEEK 1 (Badloves, “Green Limousine”)
“Thank you for being a unique individual.”
Translation: “I dislike you and you are weird but this is perhaps not entirely bad, objectively speaking.”
Cattiness Factor: 2/5 Subtle beginnings.

FINALS WEEK 2 (Propellerheads feat. Shirley Bassey, “History Repeating”)
“You knew exactly what you had to do and you did it. It’s great to see someone look so comfortable.”
Translation: “Your sluttiness becomes you.”
Cattiness Factor: 3/5 Now becoming evident. No direct criticisms yet but obviously Marcia’s partner has expressed that Chanel is attractive.

FINALS WEEK 3 (Dionne Warwick, “Walk on By”)
“You always do different things and your voice is always pure but you should push yourself like the other girls.”
Translation: “You’re weird and your voice is rank and the other competitors can actually sing.”
Cattiness Factor: 3.5/5 Marcia offers an opinion for the first time in 2 years.

FINALS WEEK 4 (Gloria Gaynor, “Never Can Say Goodbye”)
“You are quirky but it seems to be a charade. Stay true to yourself.”
Translation: “Your sole apparent quality is being weird, which you are not even good at!”
Cattiness Factor: 4/5 Clearly Marcia cannot decide if Chanel is actually weird or not.

FINALS WEEK 5 (k.d. lang, “Constant Craving”)
“k.d. lang songs are hard to sing, aren’t they? You needed to have a ‘belter’ moment and you didn’t.”
Translation: “You can’t sing. Please expire."
Cattiness Factor: 5/5 Marcia cannot be more obvious.

Watch her face tonight as Chanel escapes the Bottom 3 again. Or, even better, if Chanel is Bottom 2, watch Marcia’s opinion as to the likely/preferred evictee!