S2BC: THE PREQUEL

REMINISCING ABOUT THE HALCYON DAYS OF AUSTRALIAN IDOL 2

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Casey Donovan Shits All Over Everyone* - In A New Skirt!

*not literally

Monday, 25 October 2004

There is little to say about last night other than it was all about Casey Doona Van.



Casey arrived in a new tailored shirt AND new skirt, blowing away the rest of the competition. This chick is so haunting, flawless and vulnerable when singing that it is a real shame she is boring, charmless and awkward when not singing.

Casey has now repaid everyone for saving her after Beatles week. Last night's performance of "Beautiful" suddenly indicates she may now be the best thing there: she sings Cheap Trick, Tina Arena, India.Arie and Metallica all on the same show, and is the only one with multiple touchdowns. She may have dropped the ball with "Eleanor Rigby". But Casey truly is the quarterback of Australian Idol.

In other news, everyone else was rubbish. Observations:

1. I concede: Chanel sang woefully and looked even worse. (Not, however, as bad as the random chick from the audience who was asked to sing by one of the hosts. THAT redefines the word “horrendous”.) I now fear Chanel’s name is an ironic self-fulfilling prophecy: Chanel will finish No. 5 in this competition.



2. No, seriously, what was with Chanel?

3. No, seriously, what was with that random girl’s top?

4. Far outdoing Chanel in the shitefulness stakes was Courtney, who MUST BE EJECTED IMMEDIATELY. As visually assaulting as Chanel was, Courtney’s ongoing tribute to constipation has become boring and painful. Even worse, his inability to take criticism is becoming intolerable. Come on Courtney, learn to take it on the chins!

5. Anthony, the most technically proficient and vocally impressive singer, set new standards of blah last night but will no doubt hang around. Next week, he’ll have TWO chances to have his masculinity called into question by Dicko, which will at least be entertaining. Personally, I think Marcia summed it up well when she said, “Every week, you just do your business all over the stage.”

6. Marcia revealed how profound she really is when she announced that in her neighbourhood a man’s ability to find a partner was in direct proportion with his dancing prowess.

This is the point where I usually implore you to vote for Chanel. On the basis of her non-effort (and even worse song choice) I almost feel like abandoning my mission. But instead, I will couch my request in different terms.

Simply, I ask you to acknowledge the value intrinsic in putting Courtney’s self-idolising arse on a bus back to Perth, and similarly, to consider the injustice inherent in having Hayley outlast both Ricki-Lee AND Chanel.

19 10 10 Casey and Chanel.

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